"Ashley thatis absolutely gross and uncivilized. Blow your nose gently. A personof quality does not draw attention to themselves under suchcircumstances. Now blow again, but do it daintily, then wipe thoseeyes," she scolded me.Oh I wished that I could stand up for myself and blow a real honkerright into her face but as I stated she was stronger, bigger andunrestricted. I had no choice but to do her bidding. As a means tosaving some face I told myself that in time she would get hers.That night as she prepared me for bed I understood her comment aboutwearing high heels all the time. As I put on my pajamas I was told toleave my hosiery on then to step back into my heels. After she put myhair up in those hateful curlers she gave me another tranquilizer andtold me to get into bed. I bent as best I could in the corset toreach down and remove the shoes, when she told me to just get intobed as I would be for the foreseeable future wearing them just likemy corset. I stifled a groan of protest. .. That was helpful.”“I’m sorry you’re going through this with Heather. But it is different than what happened with Chris.”Because you don’t realize that Lara is involved... “When he died,” she continued, “we obviously knew he was never coming back. It was an instant thing, a complete and permanent end to our old lives. But you’re not in that position. Heather can still come back. You and her both still have something to hold on to.”“Sometimes I wonder if that’s better or worse, not knowing if it’s over.”My mom shifted in the sand. “Of course it’s better, Matt! Don’t you ever say that! If you remember nothing else from this conversation, then at least take that with you.” She sighed heavily and then whispered, “Believe me. The alternative is much worse.”I stared at the stars for a while, mulling her words over. They made sense, and yet much was still missing, mysterious, hidden... “I feel like I need to tell you something,” I said quietly. “I hope you won’t be mad.”“I’m listening.”I.
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